The Cycle Begins Again?
What a hell of a busy day. My exercise regimen is finally starting to pose a little bit of a challenge. That started my day. It was pretty rewarding though. When I first tried exercising about 3 months ago I actually hurt myself on sit-up #3 and had to not exercise for a while. That was the impetus for looking up some direction on how to get my my old, out of shape ass feeling better and in a roundabout way starting this blog. But today I managed to do two sets of 10 sit-ups and it was only really hard a couple times. Kinda impressed with myself and excited to keep moving forward. I’m likely going to start doubling my daily exercise routine on my next cycle.
My business partner is a great person that’s going through some medical stuff right now. It’s causing a ton of swings and causing some extreme lack of productivity meanwhile stressing about productivity. I’m actively trying to work with her on this, however it’s been hard and I feel really ignored overall. There’s moments that feel like there’s some newer path being taken or teamwork to be had, then back to shut out even though I’m pointing out the obvious downfalls of continuing the behavior. There’s a refusal to make any kind of adjustment even after acknowledging it. It’s the fear of loss of control. I’ve learned that business is a lot like skiing. I don’t know how to fucking ski either.
There’s an amazing person that I’ve been chatting with from a dating app. She’s an ex-mormon Chinese medicine practitioner that’s turned towards marijuana and mushrooms over the last couple years. She’s a pretty intelligent person that has a really unique way of approaching what I would normally call “woo-woo bullshit” in a way that can be rooted and measured in a scientific manner. I’m sure there’s still discrepancies, but the approach and intent seems admirable.
This brings me to question, is this shit just starting all over again? Am I meeting another really amazing woman (all my exes and even most people I’ve dated are truly amazing women from objective standards) and setting myself up for codependency and failure? We had an interesting, roundabout chat for “what we want” in comparison to “what we had” and we’re on a similar page to marriage. I think she’s a pretty strong monogamist and is pretty convinced on the concept. I’m not wholly convinced of it and think there’s a lot of societal pressures enforcing this “lifetime together” however, men in my family generally only live to about 56. So following the logic of my past relationships of 8 years, 10 years, then 12-15 should be right around the corner, rounding out my life. Eh, might be worth it!