Closing In

I am at the precipice of a couple different things. I have a project I need to finish from my business that’s closing, but it’s still a decent amount of work left to do. I have been trying to make my new company work at a more even-keeled pace but keep getting fraught with old bad habits from the company that wind up stacking my work on me after long periods of nothing to do. Now the month is closing in and I wanted to get this all wrapped up nicely, collect a check, and pay my rent on time. Looks like another month that my bank account is overdrawn for a few days while I wait to get some work done. Fucking hooray.

Non smoking has been pretty great. There’s very tiny bouts of actually craving cigarettes, so I’ve been supplementing these with walks. Generally around 1 mile, I do these at all times during the day/night. Before bed I decided to head out on a trek and clear my head from the work I’ve been doing. I get to the point where I turn around and start heading back home. My arm unexpectedly brushes up against something in the dark and it moves. I quickly realize that there’s a couple deer in the yard I’m walking by and I brushed up against one of the deer’s hindquarters. The deer notices me and slowly steps away and I do the same in return hoping to not get kicked in the face by a wild animal. After I get a few steps back and it advances a few steps away from me, I managed to snap a picture before we all moved along on our merry way.

Speaking of letting fawn roam, I noticed that I’m getting feelings for my friend/ex that I’ve been sharing existential crises with. Something needs to be done about this before it spirals out of control and one or both of us gets hurt. What it is I’m going to tell her or what she wants to tell me, I have no idea.